just them being them

Luke…

I know what butt town would look like – everywhere would be butts. The people would look like butts and the news would all be butts.

(me, after giving him a sucker): What do you say?
him: I don’t want to talk right now. I love you for giving me this sucker, but I don’t want to talk.

I don’t want a birthday party because all you do is sit there and do randomly boring stuff.

Commercials and the sun are my worst enemies.

Can you make my hair fancy tomorrow?

Later…

me: Luke, mikey is coming over.

him: And you’re going to make me look handsome, right?

You get cooler when you’re nicer. If you’re nice, you’re cool.

(at Christmas-time): It would be funny if on the computer I typed in, ‘luke hanson’s presents for Christmas’. 

Noah I'm so mad at you that I'm not getting you jam toast anymore. and I'm ignoring you forever today.

If you have spiky hair, you’re cool, and if you have hair brushed to the side then you’re handsome. I’m handsome.

(the night before Valentines day): mom- do you know my favorite time? it's when I go to sleep tonight and then I get to wake up tomorrow and go to school and give my cards to everyone. and sleeping is kind of comfy.

What do you call a banana you put in a blender?

A blanana.

(to his friend): I'm a natural artist, and a master builder of legos.

I wish we didn’t have to cut my hair because I really, really, really like my mullet. It’s my favorite type of hairstyle.

Does every kid in the universe go to school?

You know one reason why I don't like chester? because I was eating a blueberry muffin and I saw his throw-up, and it made me throw-up.

mom- I might have saw noah’s butt crack while he was running.

Noah...

Gum is like an air freshener in your mouth, right?

I balanced for 60 seconds on the ball! Post it on facebook to one of your friends.

me: Why is your room such a mess?

him: Because it’s what we do.. make messes.

You should get a therapist to help you not be on the computer so much.

me: my tummy hurts.

him: who cares. I don’t.

mom, the world is a bird’s toilet, right?

If I had a phone it would only call home or 911. otherwise it would be too overwhelming.

me: What’s something that would be good to put in your lunch?

him: All the candy you can afford.

Deep thought he made up:

If you have a laser eye, you shouldn't shoot it too far, because then it would go around the world and hit you.

My favorite direction is north, because of the north pole; our big window faces north; and my name starts with ‘no’.

him: Chevys rule and fords drool.

me: What does it mean that they drool?

him: It means that I hate fords.

Why is it called mt. Rushmore?

Because people want to RUSH to it!

noah: Hey luke- show me your muscles.

luke: No- that’s what a weird person would do.

noah: Ok then I’m weird, because LOOK. (shows luke his muscles.)

me: Who’s your favorite girl in your class?

him: That’s classified.

mom- if I ever need to know your phone number I can just look at chester’s name tag.

Before you put pictures of me on facebook will you have me approve of it first?

I’ll be a normal kid if you be a normal adult.

What did luke skywalker say to darth vader on father's day?

I would have written you a card but you chopped off my writing hand.

If I had a dollar for every time he's thrown a fit like that for that long, we'd live in a mansion right now. (during one of luke's tantrums)

mom will you give us money for walking , talking, and breathing?

such fun little guys.