there are a lot things i feel like sharing on my new little blog, but i'll try to pace myself. one thing i feel i must share is this book i purchased the other day at the book store. i absolutely love it.
this guy is a genius. these are all so funny and so true. i think i love it so much because i get annoyed with so many things and because of the random factor. here are a few of them for your enjoyment.
1.Wondering if the appetizer you're sharing with a friend is being divided evenly.
3.That Barry Manilow didn't write his hit song "I Write the Songs'.
6.Walking by the same person you've already walked by in the dairy, produce, and frozen-food sections.
21. When your nieces and nephews reach the age where they can distinguish a cheap gift from a valuable one.
27. When a woman calls out "Thanks a million!" and waves as her car pulls away, and you realize that you just gave her totally wrong directions.
33. That nursery school is just another forum for bullies.
36. The feeling you get when you clip your nail too far.
45. That bands named after a city, state, or continent are usually lame (e.g., Asia, Kansas, Alabama, Europe, Chicago, Boston, America, Berlin).
46. When your thigh rubs against a leather chair, emitting a loud, ripping noise, and every time you rub your let against it again, in an attempt to make the same noise to prove to the public that it wasn't a fart, it sounds nothing like the initial noise.
51. Feeling like an idiot when you realize how common the word is that you couldn't think of.
64. When the brief thrill of making the yellow light ends and you're bored again.
70. People who exaggerate the danger of picking up a piece of broken glass.
73. When the person you are waving hello to doesn't see you waving, but then catches you awkwardly retracting the wave.
100. Wondering if the guy whop prepared your meal is the same guy who scribbled SHOVE IT! on the sign that reads EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS AFTER USING REST ROOM.
(there are too many to not want to post them all. more to come soon.)
Loved 1, 70 and 73. NEVER thought about #100, and now I'll be thinking of it every time! These were funny. Thanks for sharing. It reminded me of Jack Handy.
ReplyDeletethose are so incredibly funny.
ReplyDeleteone should be "those annoying security validations that make you re-type nonsensical words that are all distorted and wavy."
ReplyDeletewhen you lightheartedly put yourself down and the person you're talking to doesn't dispute it.
ReplyDeletewhen you put a tip in the tip jar at the exact moment the cashier has looked away.
people who laugh all the time at their own jokes, forcing you to do several couresy laughs during the conversation.
the excrutiating seconds when you realize the toilet is about to overflow.
getting white-out on your finger.
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